Daisypath Friendship tickers

Daisypath Friendship tickers

Frank McCourt : Teacher Man

Instead of teaching, I told stories. Anything to keep them quiet and in their seats. They thought I was teaching. I thought I was teaching. I was learning. And you called yourself a teacher? I didn't call myself anything. I was more than a teacher. And less. In the high school classroom you are a drill sergeant, a rabbi, a shoulder to cry on, a disciplinarian, a singer, a low-lever scholar, a clerk, a referee, a clown, a counselor, a dress-code enforcer, a conductor, an apologist, a philosopher, a collaborator, a tap dancer, a politician, a therapist, a fool, a traffic cop, a priest, a mother-father-brother-sister-uncle-aunt, a bookkeeper, a critic, a psychologist, the last straw. - Frank McCourt: Teacher Man

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

01 July 2012

Demotivasi

Salam.
I am bored. I am demotivated. I am.... lost.

Honestly, I don't even know what I am doing right now. Am I doing the right thing or even worst? Am I just being myself or I just pretending to be someone else? I don't know.

I admit that I lost a part of my life when something, that only I know, happened. It's not an incident, it was something I put myself in that condition. I pushed myself to the cliff of misery. I found the way to give me-time but never found the way back... That's the reason I am lost.

Since then, I don't really find the way back... I need to go back... I need to be with part of me which was gone missing that night...

Hiiiiiyaaaah!

Mak aih ayat... aku dah boleh jadi penulis omputih lah ni yea? Hahaha.. Berangan. Novel melayu pun tak reti-reti nak siap.

Haih...but yeah, saya adalah sangat demotivasi sekarang. Demotivasi untuk bekerja, demotivasi untuk bersosial, demotivasi untuk melakukan hobi-hobi menarik, demotivasi untuk diri sendiri...

Saya punya perasaan demotivasi ini boleh diukur apabila saya akan kerap termenung melebihi satu jam. Ya, termenung sahaja. Tup-tup masa sudah berlalu selama sejam. Apa saya buat dalam sejam itu? Saya akan melangut pandang siling, main-main rambut, kemudian mengeluh... Kejadah aku buat kerja tak berfaedah!?

Amaran : 
Kanak-kanak di bawah 18 tahun dan yang masih bergelar pelajar yang tidak ada kekuatan jiwa sila jangan tiru aksi-aksi di atas. Ini bakal membunuh masa depan anda. Sekian. 

Saya tak tahu... atau sebenarnya saya tahu cuma saya sudah hilang kekuatan untuk terus bertahan dengan apa yang sedang saya lalui sekarang.

Okey, apa sebenar cerita ni? Apa yang penting sangat terjadi sampai tak ada motivasi langsung nak hidup?

That's the question keep on running in my head. Because I know, it's just the smallest problem ever, but I make it a big deal out of my life. So pathetic...

The thing is, I just need my Allah swt. and I am too far away from HIM... Allahu Akbar..

Salam...
Peace (not so peace inside)


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